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A thorough search…

By Christian Womanmag

My mornings look like a hurricane on steroids as I scramble to get me and my two little lightening bolts out the door.  Ashamedly, I am notorious for not preparing the night before.  Thus, I leave no room for unexpected occurrences; sudden potty trips, lost keys, and temper tantrums.

Recently, my three year old misplaced one of his shoes prior to the predictable morning mayhem.  Panic struck.  Instantly my mind flashed to what that would look like in the morning. Yikes! “I better find that shoe tonight,” I thought to myself.

I looked everywhere at least twice.  I searched the living room, their bedroom, my bedroom, bathrooms, the office and still no shoe. Up the stairs, down the stairs, and back again all the while thinking, “I’m too out of shape for this.”  Frustration mixed with fatigue and made an ugly combination.  I was ready for my time: the relaxation that ensues once the kids are in their bed and ASLEEP.  So close yet desperately far away.  And then I had an idea.

I dragged myself down stairs again, with a bit of a ‘tude, and made a beeline for the dreaded toy bins.  Collectively my children have accumulated quite an inventory of toys; miniature objects acquired from birthday party gift bags, Legos, lions, tigers and bears – oh my!  And when this assortment of items, big and small, is strewn here to there it is an eyesore in what was once my pristine living room.

So as you can imagine I had no desire to dump two of the three bins in question out on my living room floor.  Thankfully, as I prepared to rummage through the contents, I noticed his little black shoe on the side of the opaque plastic bin.  Clearly, Jesus has saved me from a lot of things but that night I added plastic bins to the list.

My shoe search was annoying and inconvenient but I treasured the experience a few days later when I read Psalm 139:1 (NIV).  The scripture says, “. . . Lord, you have searched me and you know me.” This is a familiar passage of scripture for me but this time the word search stuck out like a black shoe in a bin full of toys.

This verse conjured up imagery of God closely examining every unkempt corner of my brain.   I attempted to grasp the depth of this word by paralleling it with my search for that pesky little shoe.   The difference being, I was clueless as to its whereabouts, but God, in His omniscience, never has or ever will be in the dark about who we are.

The word “search” in the Hebrew translation means to examine thoroughly, investigate or explore.  It is not a one-time search but more of God’s perpetual state of knowing.   It is sobering to be intimately known by the God of the universe.  But why would He want to?

My quest to find the missing shoe had a direct benefit for me as the frenzied morning mama.  I gained a shoe with a little piece of mind, but what would motivate and omniscient God to search a finite and flawed individual? The only logical explanation is His incomprehensible love towards us.  And though the combination of my mind, will, and emotions may look like the toy bin with complex parts large and small, God is not hesitant to delve inside.   He is not repelled by the complexity of our soul.

We see a jumbled mess and he sees His “fearfully and wonderfully made” daughters.  We see confusion and He sees brilliance.  We see fear and He sees courage.  We see despair and He sees hope.

And it is not that he doesn’t see my faults; He does.  But one glance at us and He sees the sum total of who we are.  A thought is not evaluated by itself alone but He takes into account our family make-up, that experience in middle school, our personality, our purpose, our fears, our destiny, our HORMONES (thank you Jesus), the current state of our lives and combines it with His infinite wisdom.  He knows who we were, are, and will be.  He is God and He understands us deeply.

How comforting it is to know I will never be misunderstood by my heavenly Father.  He sorts through the tangled mix of doubt, frustration, tears, and the like and simply sees me.  Yet the greater beauty of that scripture is not so much that He knows me, but the fact that He continues to pursue me in spite of what he knows.

If I knew myself as God knows me I would probably run and hide; but who I am does not shock or confound God.   Before time, He made a conscience decision to create me, know me, and love me with self-sacrificing love.   This is by far the best love story ever told.  Ironically, I’ve spent countless years looking for this type of love and acceptance and it was right there in God’s word all along.  I invite you to rest in the truth of Psalm 139:1 (NIV).  If you have been searching for someone or something to satisfy the longing of your soul, search no more.  Revel in being fully known, accepted and loved by the God of the universe.

By Kia Stephens | Freelance Writer