I hit my fist on the desk and shook my head in despair. Why God? You know I have deadlines, a speaking engagement to prepare for, and on top of that I’ve exhausted all my resources and I am running out of time. I looked up to the ceiling in my office as if God was standing right over me, and then I began to weep as I blurted out, God are you even listening?
Only hours before, a young mother had walked into the crisis pregnancy center where I worked and had been seeking information on terminating her pregnancy. She had found herself alone with a young son, no money, entangled in a past addiction to pain killers, and feeling like no one could possibly care.
I looked her in the eyes and began to share with her that God cares about her and loves her no matter what she could have possibly ever done.
It was through her bitter tears, that she then shared how poor choices had led her to little money and nowhere for her or her eight year old son to stay. For the first time in her life, she was homeless and had found herself evicted with no place to go.
After sharing the gospel with her and giving her all her options, this beautiful, broken, mother decided to give her unborn child life. Yet, I knew in order to show this mother the true love of Christ, I had to do more than just talk the talk. I needed to find her a temporary place to stay and get her, the unborn child, and her young son off the street.
I contacted every homeless shelter, exhausted every community lead, and because of an already strained ministry budget, there was no extra funding for a hotel room.
I found myself staring at a blank computer screen and through my tears I began to pray. God I need a word from you. Lord, I need to show this young mother that I care. She has chosen to give her unborn child life and I want to help her, but I have done everything I possibly can…..
You ever been there? When you just wanted to fall to your knees and cry out, God can you even hear me? Don’t you care? God are you listening? Maybe you’re in a similar situation now. Your marriage is falling apart, he or she has walked out, you’ve read the books, bought him or her gifts, wrote letters, cried, shared your feelings, and it seems absolutely NOTHING you are doing is working. It could be your finances, you’ve paid your tithes, you’ve given up things that you really wanted, and it still seems that you can’t make the ends meet. Perhaps it’s the emotional exhaustion from dealing with a prodigal child, or attacks of gossip, a bad situation at work, an unexpected Dr’s report, failed attempts to get healthy, the stress and strain of life, and you want to scream out just like I did, GOD are you even listening?
I find myself weeping and rejoicing each time I share the rest of my client’s story. I will never forget the knock on my door that afternoon. The godly ladies who stood there and explained how the Lord had led them to our center at the very time I had been praying and banging my fist on that desk. I get chills just thinking about it! We stood there in that foyer, held hands together, cried, and thanked God for his goodness. Afterwards those dear precious ladies, total strangers, wrote out personal checks to provide my client a hotel room. God had heard my cry, my groanings and my moanings.
I want you to know that without a doubt and we can put our trust in the fact that the God we serve does not lie, He never changes, and His Word stands true forever. Honeychild, I ain’t gonna lie! There have been times when this ol’ girl has been fearful and disillusioned, searching for God and wondering are you there Lord, because I can’t see or feel a thing happening in my situation.
BUT, I have come to know that no matter what I see through these earthly eyes, no matter how grim things appear, even when I am numb and can’t feel a thing, through every difficulty, every storm, when it seems all hell is breaking loose, MY GOD IS THERE! He is working and moving in my situation, refining me, using every little detail that the enemy meant to harm me with and turning it around for my good and for His glory!
A hostile world! I call to God, I cry to God to help me. From his palace he hears my call; my cry brings me right into his presence— a private audience! ~Psalm 18:6 The Message (MSG)
I have learned that my difficulties have tremendous power to change me for the better or worse. I can choose to be bitter, or I can choose to say, God I am going to depend on You and have the FAITH that You are gonna see me through.
By Beverley Weeks | Website
Beverly Weeks is an energized Christian speaker who is devoted to encouraging couples with God’s inspired Word. She has written numerous online devotions, blogs & articles to exemplify powerful, practical biblical truths to couples standing for their marriage and family. Candidly & transparently, Beverly shares the grace, hope & redemption that Christ offers to all and their marriage relationships. Beverly speaks from personal experience, a confident faith and a zealous passion, proclaiming encouraging messages of hope. She engages women’s groups, churches and conferences with topics such as Battling Low Self Esteem to Healing in Your Marriage. Beverly presently serves with Intentionally Yours, a marriage focused ministry, facilitates Art of Marriage conferences and is a Homebuilder Catalyst for Family Life Ministries.