Porn. I hate porn. I think it’s one of the biggest tools of the enemy in our current time. The amount of people viewing it is alarming. The amount of Christian leaders consuming is saddening (no judgment from me, I battled that filthy addiction for 6 years 2008 – 2013). You can read the nitty gritty of my own personal story in ‘Confessions of a misfit Pastor’s kid.”
Talking with my wife about it last week she was in tears & asked “how can we help a generation, how can we help christian leaders, how can we help PASTORS battling this thing!” I have some thoughts I will put below.
I know the depths of being a slave to this thing, but I also know the fresh air of freedom as Gods grace (and some hard work & practical steps) helped me break free!
1. We have to talk about it.
We have to open this topic up in our churches – in our teams – in our families. Porn viewing is like mould. It grows in the dark. Let’s shine a light on this thing.
2. We have to remove fear of judgment.
I have conversations with leaders and pastors who private message me because they have huge fear and shame about going to their up-lines or leaders. We must create spaces for repentance, confession, prayer ect. We know it’s wrong, but removing the fear of judgment creates room for solution.
3. It’s not going to just “go away”
I don’t want to be negative or discourage any young man or woman. However if you do what you always have done, you will get the same result. Porn isn’t going to leave because of your good intent or the fact you are getting married. My goodness today is a good to talk to someone. Today is a good day to have that hard talk with your wife. Today is a good day to take action. I know many who at 17 said “it’s just a now thing” a decade later that thing hasn’t moved. Let’s act now!
4. Educate yourself.
When you realise the facts about the porn industry it’s a sobering thing to be a “part” of. & make no mistake through viewing porn you are a part of the “demand” part of the industry. The secular viewpoint even is now starting to realise the adverse effects of this industy & of consuming it.
5. Let people look at your phone often.
This one may sound simple. But if you know a spouse, a friend, a pastor can look at your phone at any time it’s a practical way to help! Cause if you race to clear your safari history and cookies it’s an alarm bell to those you have allowed into your life. Yes we are getting very real. I am sick of this thing.
6. This is a hard, sometimes long walk.
Can we just acknowledge this? It’s going to take time. It is a legitimate addiction. I have to say I have seen a few people receive prayer and boom, that was it. But most of the time it’s a walk of accountability – devotion – honesty – some bumps in the road. This has to be okay. Let’s not throw rocks at people walking back to the fathers house on the prodigal road.
7. It’s never ever too late.
Just before COVID I discussed and prayer with a 70 year old about his many decade battle with porn. He felt so alone and ashamed. It had cost him his marriage and a percentage of his relationship with his kids. I had the honour of hopefully stirring the fires of hope for a new day and the fresh air of progress.
Sorry for the essay. But this is a sore spot for me, I am sick of it affecting people in my world & ministry. Let’s kick this thing back to hell.
Fred Porter is the Youth Director and Young Adults Pastor at Kingdom Culture Church. He has a passion for the young people of his city Brisbane, Australia and far beyond it. Led with a calling to seek and to serve, he and his wife Anna have been an integral part of the KCC church family & are part of the founding pastors group. They yearly travel to Asia, Africa and within Australia preaching & leading missions teams, both have a heart for seeing young lives shaped on God’s truths. This article first appeared on https://sabrinapeters.com.
The porn survivor now pastor fighting sex trafficking