There are days, there are weeks, there are years, when it feels like the earth may crumble around you, where you feel like you are holding it up just by continuing to stand.
There are days when the heavens are shifting, plates are realigning, changes are transpiring beyond and above our earthly understanding. We are caught in the midst. A spec of dust caught in a heavenly storm, a loved daughter caught in a war raging beyond her understanding or ability to fully comprehend.
There are days when the heavens are shifting and no-one on earth understands. Little humans in a big cosmos, trying to stand tall on a spinning planet.
I remember the Joy Wheel at Coney Island at Lunar Park, the spinning circle, that keeps spinning as little ones keep falling and climbing and falling and climbing.
I feel like one of those little humans falling, climbing, falling, climbing as the planet spins, ever spins.
How funny that it is called the Joy Wheel, maybe there is more joy in this spinning planet than what we give it credit for. Maybe there is joy in the ride, in the spinning, falling, climbing, spinning, falling.
I remember the key; get to the center, climb to the center and hold still.
I clamber again to the center, to the one who it all spins upon, to the one in the midst of it all.
Is it possible for Him to hold me right in the center whilst it all spins around me? Is it possible to be held and breathe and watch and look? Is it possible to be still in a spinning world?
This little girl wants to get off the ride, too fast, too crazy, too chaotic.
But He is not off the ride, and that is the problem. He is in the center, in the middle, inside the spinning chaos, there he is and he calls me up, he calls me in, he calls me out.
He knows I wrestle, He knows I want the peace, the quiet, the calm, He knows the struggle, the anguish and the pain, He knows all the words I have spoken, the shouts of get me off this ride, and He waits, so still, so calm and so strong.
He won’t rescue the little girl, because He sees inside this girl an image that she can’t yet see, and image born for the spinning planet, an image molded right in the center of a spinning planet, an image not of a little girl, but a royal daughter.
And He calls the woman up and out and in, and ultimately, He calls her to Him.
He sees Himself in the woman, His image is embedded inside her, His seed hidden in her frame. And He calls her to himself.
She climbs to the center, summoned by His voice.
And He holds her and the earth spins and she watches and she sits.
And in the center, on that wheel, in His hands, He starts to mold her on this spinning planet. Shaping her, molding her as she is held by Him.
Then He pushes her up, He calls her to stand on the spinning planet.
She screams, then finds her balance, finds gravity, discovering she can stand.
Standing whilst the world is spinning, standing whilst heads are spinning.
Then he urges her to use her voice. He urges her to summon others. To summon others to climb to the center, to find Him in the midst of this crazy spinning planet.
She stands, she speaks, and she calls to others to climb to the center, to climb to Him.
And all the while the earth is spinning.
And her mind is learning, to be still, very still. To be still and tall when voices scream fall.
Held still by love. His love. In the center of it all.
Kirrily and her husband Tim are the Senior Ministers and Founding Pastors of C3 Church City. Kirrily is passionate about seeing women released into their God-given identity and is known for communicating this through creative, poetic and colourful mediums, using teaching, poetry and fashion to bring full expression to this message. Kirrily is also the author of The Invisible Tree Series for children. She lives in Sydney with their three boys, Samuel, Harrison and Elijah. Instagram: kirrilylowe. Facebook: Kirrily Lowe