My wife Kathleen and I had the opportunity to meet with Tina Konkin recently. She’s an internationally known speaker, counselor, and coach on the subject of relationships. As a result, she’s been on major networks, spoken at national conferences, and helped thousands of couples heal broken relationships. We were discussing some potential television projects with Tina, when she said something that I realized applies to so many other areas of life – including our career and calling.
She mentioned that one of the biggest reasons couples divorce is because one of them stops taking initiative. Some examples she mentioned were a husband who suddenly stops surprising his wife with dinner reservations (she still wants to feel appreciated), a wife who stops initiating sex (he still wants to be desired), or either one stops taking the lead doing special things for the other (getting coffee, doing the dishes, etc.)
As we talked, I realized a lack of initiative is also one of the biggest reasons we start failing in our career or calling. At first, we’re passionate about our job and excited to be on the team. But the years go by, and we start taking things for granted (just like a marriage relationship.) More time passes, and we start waiting for the boss to assign projects to us, we stop making waves, and just follow the job description. We’re just putting in the time.
When we lose our love of career or calling, we stop initiating new ideas, stop being creative, and most of all, stop being original.
Tina is right – initiative is so important with relationships, and it’s also important for finding our purpose in life.
When was the last time you took a risk at your job? When was the last time you offered to take the project nobody else wanted, and then hit it out of the park? When was the last time you stepped up with a new idea? In a world where the digital revolution is transforming the workplace, this isn’t the time to sit back and coast.
If it’s been too long, maybe it’s time to start taking initiative again. As Tina says, it can save your marriage, but it could also save your career.
Tina’s last recommendation? Start today.
To find out more about Tina’s relationship advice, check out her website.
Phil Cooke is a producer and media consultant to churches and ministries across the country. His latest book is “Unique: Telling Your Story in the Age of Brands and Social Media.” Find out more at www.philcooke.com.