Death

‘Time to heal’: Bethel worship leader who lost little girl self quarantines

By Bridgett Banks

Kalley Heiligenthal, the Bethel worship leader and mom of little Olive, who sadly passed away last year, has been in self quarantine, as she takes time out to heal.

Kalley and Bethel Church had asked for Christians to pray after her two year-old daughter Olive, pictured above, never woke from her day sleep.

Kalley Heiligenthal has been a worship leader and songwriter at Bethel Church and with Bethel Music since 2014. She also serves as 2nd Year Worship Pastor for Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry.

“We’re asking for prayer,” she commented in an Instagram post last year. “We believe in a Jesus who died and conclusively defeated every grave, holding the keys to resurrection power. We need it for our little Olive Alayne, who stopped breathing yesterday and has been pronounced dead by doctors. We are asking for bold, unified prayers from the global church to stand with us in belief that He will raise this little girl back to life. Her time here is not done, and it is our time to believe boldly, and with confidence wield what King Jesus paid for. It’s time for her to come to life.”

Sadly, little Olive never did return to life, leaving an unbearable pain in the lives of her devastated parents, family and church community.

“I’ve been quarantined,” Kalley shared on social media. “It’s been three months, mine began shortly after Olive’s memorial. Jesus asked me to. Isolation from the majority, distance, space to heal. I’d resisted it, downplayed it, overplayed it, and then gave into it. I’d rather have stayed up and moving, looking triumphant and unfazed, but I had broken bones and He’s too good to let me move around like normal on them.

View this post on Instagram

I’ve been quarantined. It’s been three months, mine began shortly after Olive’s memorial. Jesus asked me to. Isolation from the majority, distance, space to heal. I’d resisted it, downplayed it, overplayed it, and then gave into it. I’d rather have stayed up and moving, looking triumphant and unfazed, but I had broken bones and He’s too good to let me move around like normal on them. He was clear they weren’t broken from defeat – there’s no defeat here. But pain? Yes. Loss in this lifetime? Yes. He’s refused to leave, even when I thought He should. I tried to play it cool, tidy, right and holy, but could only do that so long before it all started to come out. I never doubted His goodness, but anger, disappointment, searing loss had to get out. He never left, didn’t correct me. He pulled in closer. I thought He’d wish I was further along, but I would never do that to Elsie. When she’s afraid, we listen. When she cries, we validate and hold her close. And He’s much better. We never outgrow our need for a good Father. I’m learning shepherd Jesus, who’s acquainted with valleys, not afraid to walk it with us. Not rushed to move us along, because He doesn’t ever do anxiety. Patient, kind, listening Emmanuel. I can be honest with Him, because He’s holding me, His name is Truth, and He won’t let me stray. His name is Way, and I won’t get stuck there. He creates passages where fear tells me I’m in a dead end. He is Life when the planet is gripped with a fear of death, grappling for control. One of my biggest stances of faith now is to trust He means it when He says to come to Him when weary and burdened, not after. Rest comes from His hand, not from answers or resolve or things back to normal. I’ll never have my old normal, who knows when you’ll get yours. But He does make all things new. I don’t know how but He does and He will. In what the world is facing now, He’s King, He’s Shepherd. He defeated death, disease and torment and so secure in it that we all can afford to hide in Him and pull from His confidence in this time. God, keep us in your wing as long as we need to get all you have for us here. He’s making us soft, strong and unafraid. Let’s let Him.

A post shared by kalley (@kalleyheili) on

“He was clear they weren’t broken from defeat – there’s no defeat here. But pain? Yes. Loss in this lifetime? Yes. He’s refused to leave, even when I thought He should. I tried to play it cool, tidy, right and holy, but could only do that so long before it all started to come out. I never doubted His goodness, but anger, disappointment, searing loss had to get out. He never left, didn’t correct me. He pulled in closer. I thought He’d wish I was further along, but I would never do that to Elsie. When she’s afraid, we listen. When she cries, we validate and hold her close. And He’s much better. We never outgrow our need for a good Father.”

The Bethel community together were believing for a miracle. Christians the world over were praying for Olive’s resurrection. Finally, the family made the announcement that a funeral would be held for their two year-old.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6pYdALHC8j/?utm_source=ig_embed

“I’m learning shepherd Jesus, who’s acquainted with valleys, not afraid to walk it with us,” Kalley continued. “Not rushed to move us along, because He doesn’t ever do anxiety. Patient, kind, listening Emmanuel. I can be honest with Him, because He’s holding me, His name is Truth, and He won’t let me stray. His name is Way, and I won’t get stuck there. He creates passages where fear tells me I’m in a dead end. He is Life when the planet is gripped with a fear of death, grappling for control.

“One of my biggest stances of faith now is to trust He means it when He says to come to Him when weary and burdened, not after. Rest comes from His hand, not from answers or resolve or things back to normal. I’ll never have my old normal, who knows when you’ll get yours. But He does make all things new. I don’t know how but He does and He will. In what the world is facing now, He’s King, He’s Shepherd.

“He defeated death, disease and torment and so secure in it that we all can afford to hide in Him and pull from His confidence in this time. God, keep us in your wing as long as we need to get all you have for us here. He’s making us soft, strong and unafraid. Let’s let Him.”